Love Letters ~ G-YAN & JUNSU

G-Yan walked quickly down the road as she struggled to carry her big bag in her arms. She wasn’t really upset, but she couldn’t help but curse her friend in her mind for refusing to drive her home saying that she was sick and in no condition to drive. Especially since she knew that her friend wasn’t even sick and was just using the excuse to get ready for a date with her boyfriend. Things didn’t help for the fact was that she lived far from her friend.

She knew she probably should have just gone back to her friend’s house, and stayed there anyway, but she just wanted to get home, especially since she was already out anyway.

She knew she had missed the bus and that it would be a couple hours until the next one would come and by the time it came she’d already be home if she just walked it.

It was late afternoon and it was a lot darker than usual and G-Yan looked up to the sky to see the dark clouds and she knew that it would probably start raining soon. The air was getting colder and she only had on a light jacket. She shivered and she tripped slightly and all her books and her bag sprawled out all over the ground. She wasn’t the one to curse, and the words were hanging on the tip of her tongue but she bit it back as she squatted down to pick up all of her belongings.

She was picking up her papers and pens when she felt a few drops land on her hand. She looked up and shook her head as the rain started coming down a little bit more and she just shoved her things in her bag. She stood up and that’s when the rain started to pour. She stood there for a second and shivered even more.

“Why! Why can’t it be clear and sunny?” She yelled out and she got embarrassed and she looked around and sighed in relief that nobody was around to see her act like a mad woman. ‘Of course nobody is around walking in this kind of weather.’ She said and laughed. Within minutes she was completely soaked and she ran to keep her bag from getting wet since it had all her things for a project that was due soon.

The rain was coming down in sheets that she couldn’t see that far in front of her. She looked around to find a place with shelter so she could at least wait until it cleared up a bit before she started on her way again. She found an abandoned food stall and she quickly stood underneath the large umbrella. She was glad that she was able to at least be free from some of the rain. She held her bag to her still since the area was still so wet and she couldn’t risk her things getting wet and ruined even though she was pretty sure they already were.

G-Yan took out her phone from her pocket and dialed her friend’s number. She rolled her eyes as her best friend’s exasperated voice came out loud. “Yah! Alyce , how dare you even think about making me walk! Have you looked outside, it’s pouring! If my project gets ruined, I’m blaming it all on you!” G-Yan shouted out but in seconds her best friend had made her forget her anger and had her laughing so hard she was clutching her sides.

G-Yan continued to laugh but then something in the distance caught her eye. She squinted trying to get a better look as she saw a figure walking slowly to the edge of the bridge. G-yan held the phone away from her ear as she tried to get a better look at the figure. She couldn’t tell if it was a man or woman, but something in her stomach told her that something was very wrong.

“Yah! Yan! Are you even listening to me?” G-yan heard her friend shout and she just closed the phone and put it in her pocket and dropped her bag as she saw the figure climb over the guard rail and sit on top of it. She ran hurriedly through the unrelenting rain. She had to run quite a distance and when she got to the bridge she saw the person sitting there as if contemplating something.

“Hey! Are you alright? What are you doing?” She shouted but the figure didn’t say anything. She guessed the person was a guy because of his built and muscular frame, and he just continued to sit there. “Hey! Come down from there and let’s just talk!” She yelled out again and she shivered as she looked down at the grey and choppy waters below her. She wasn’t sure if the man couldn’t hear her because of the rain or if he was ignoring her, and she bet it was the latter.

She didn’t want to make any sudden movements to startle him and have him falling to his death, although she figured that was exactly what he wanted at the moment anyway. She walked slowly to him and she screamed as she saw him lean forward and loosen his grip on the railing. She used all her strength and her tiny hands wrapped around his wrist and she pulled him as hard as she could. She was relieved as she fell backwards along with him, but she hit her head on the concrete and he fell on top of her.

His elbow had hit her in the stomach and knocked the breath out of her and she was gasping for air. She couldn’t see his face since it was now dark and she was a little dizzy from the fall. She turned to look at the man as he slowly got up and headed back towards the edge. She slowly stood up as well on her wobbly knees. “Stop! Please don’t do this. There is another solution, don’t do it!” She tried to yell, but she knew that he probably couldn’t hear her since the rain was still too loud and she couldn’t project her voice since she still really couldn’t breathe.

She was so unsteady on her legs that she fell back to the ground. He continued to walk forward and he had his hands back on the railing. She got on her hands and knees and loosely wrapped her hand around his wrist again. The man stopped and turned around, and she wished that she could see his face, but it was too dark. “Please.” She said again and then she lost consciousness.

G-Yan’s eyes were closed and she felt something on her head. She tried moving her arms but they felt heavy. She slowly opened her eyes and was met with more darkness. She panicked at first, but felt relieved that she saw a soft glow coming from a crack in the door.

She slowly moved her protesting body and she sat up and leaned against the headboard. She looked at the unfamiliar surroundings and something fell on her lap. She picked up the damp cloth and she was confused at where she was and what was going on.

She put a shaky hand on her head as she tried to recall what had happened. She sneezed and froze as the door opened and a man appeared. The light turned on and she had to quickly shut her eyes, for the light blinded them.

“Oh, you’re awake.” The man said and she felt the bed shift as he sat down. “I have some chicken soup for you. You’ve been asleep for two days and you need to eat.”

G-Yan opened one eye slowly and then the other as she looked in the man’s eyes. She was surprised to see the sadness there. He moved his head to the side so that she couldn’t look at him, and that’s when the events flooded through her mind. She suddenly recalled rain, the bridge, and the man, trying to jump… She wasn’t sure though if this was the man that she met that night, or if he was a random stranger that found her and brought her to what she figured was his home.

“You say I’ve been here for two days? Where am I?” She asked but didn’t receive an answer as the man blew the soup on the soup to cool it down. She was a little flustered as the intimacy of the act of him feeding her as he brought the spoon to her lips. She hesitantly drank the warm broth and was pleasantly surprised at the good and wonderful taste.

“You’re at my house.” He said simply but didn’t explain anything further. G-Yan was silently trying to figure this man out, wondering what he was really about as he continued to feed her. He seemed to be lonely and hide his true caring self behind those beautiful but sad eyes.

“So what’s your name?” She really couldn’t help but want to know more about him, and the fact that she was in his bed, his house, and he was feeding her she felt strange and wanted to at least know his name. The man ignored her question and he brought the spoon back to her mouth and she grudgingly took the broth. “Are you going to tell me?” She asked again, and knowing that he was going to try and shut her up with more soup she shut her mouth tightly and the action startled him and the soup spilled off the spoon and onto the bed.

He growled and tried to give her a menacing stare but G-Yan wasn’t fooled, she knew that he was just acting like that to avoid her questions. He put the bowl on the table by the bed and sat back with his arms folded.

“Why can’t you just tell me your name?” She asked and giving him a playful pout hoping it would soften his hard and mean attitude.

“You don’t need to know it.” He said again trying to sound harsh. The man sighed as he picked up the bowl and the spoon and G-Yan shut her eyes, shook her head and kept her mouth closed. The room was silent and G-Yan slowly opened her eyes again but she kept quiet. “Why aren’t you going to eat?” he asked and she finally spoke up.

“I don’t know you. You could have poisoned it.” She said and his eyes widened and then surprising them both he started to laugh. G-Yan was taken aback by his sudden burst of laughter and she liked the way he looked when he laughed, he wasn’t quite so daunting like when he was trying to look tough.

“You’ve already eaten some and nothing is wrong with you, is there?” He asked and she thought about it for a minute and she shook her head. That’s when G-Yan figured out why he was laughing and realized how ridiculous her statement actually sounded. “Also, if I wanted to kill you, I would’ve just let you die instead of bringing you here.” He said and she opened her mouth and he started to feed her again.

It was silent for several minutes while the man helped G-Yan eat the rest of the soup. The man quietly got off the bed and he turned off the light. G-Yan looked at the shadow of the man, she knew that this was the man that she had met on the bridge.

He had his hand on the door and stopped when she suddenly spoke. “Why did you save me?” She asked quietly and wasn’t even sure he had heard her as he turned his head around and looked at her.

“Because you were innocent. Innocent people don’t deserve to die, and you would have if I hadn’t brought you here.” He said and G-Yan took a sharp intake of breath at his words.

“So I’m guessing that you think you’re not innocent?” She asked and then the man turned back on the light and looked back at her confused by her question.

“How did you know?” He asked looking now a bit worried and she looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“You just said that innocent people don’t deserve to die, yet when we met you were going to kill yourself. So you obviously feel like you deserve to die, meaning you also feel like you’re not innocent.” G-Yan voiced and the room was now in an uncomfortable silence. The man’s eyes hardened again and he shut off the light and left the room slamming the door shut behind him.

G-Yan lay down on the soft bed and curled up underneath the warm blankets. She sighed as she thought that maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut, and not said anything about him or the time they met. He was obviously in a fragile state, and she hoped that she hadn’t made the situation worse. G-Yan wanted to go after him, but she had suddenly gotten so tired that her aching body just couldn’t seem to move and she fell asleep.

Once again G-Yan woke up in the dark and she looked over at the clock on the table beside the bed she was sleeping in. The neon green colors glowed and showed that it was only 3:30 am. She groaned realizing she had only slept for three hours. She lay in the dark and contemplated everything that had happened. She suddenly remembered the talk that her and that man had before he left and she felt worried that he might do something to hurt himself again.

She slowly got out of the bed and she found a robe in the closet and wrapped herself in it. She quietly and slowly went out into the hallway. She was quite surprised to see that the house was quite small as she continued her journey. She went into the kitchen and saw the man at the table with his head on his arms. His eyes were closed and she figured that he was asleep.

She looked around the front room that was connected to the kitchen and noticed how plain and empty it is. She looked around to see if she could find any pictures or even figure out his personality but couldn’t. The color on the wall was white, and the couch was an old brown thing. There was nothing else in the room besides a table with an old tv sitting on top of it. Even the kitchen had only the bare essentials.

G-Yan sneezed and the man suddenly looked up and their eyes met. G-Yan smiled as he looked at her in confusion.

“What are you doing up? Is something wrong?” He asked as he stood up and helped her over to the chair. She could tell that he was a caring man, and she wanted to know what his reasons were for trying to kill himself.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” She said and he nodded. He got up and got some tea and placed it in front of her and she smiled as she took a sip. “I was worried about you.” She said truthfully and she saw his brown eyes cloud over and he squirmed like he was trying to hide from her.

“Why would you be worried about someone you just met? There’s nothing for you to be worried about anyway.” He asked and looked as if he almost scared of the answer.

“I don’t believe that. You were so determined to end your life that night. If I wasn’t there, you would be gone now.” She said and he sighed and lowered his head. He wasn’t in the mood to be psychoanalyzed. “What’s going to happen when I leave? I’m worried that you will try something to harm yourself again.” She said sincerely as she laid a hand on his arm, but he jerked free.

“Why do you even care?” He asked as he looked back up at her. He didn’t want anyone worrying about him. He just wanted to be left alone so he could do what he wanted, and that was to end his life. He no longer had anything to live for, and he didn’t want this girl to tell him what he should and shouldn’t do. “I don’t remember doing or saying anything to make you think that I even want to talk to you. Get dressed, I’m taking you home.” He said as he stood up from the chair and helped her up and into the bedroom.

G-Yan had taken quite a while in the bedroom and the man wondered what he was doing. G-Yan jumped when she heard the car horn for the third time. She hurriedly left and went out to the impatient man in the car.

They were both sitting in his car in silence and G-Yan was looking out the window. The sun was now coming up and she sat there looking at the beautiful scenery thinking nonstop about the man next to her. G-Yan felt bad for making him mad, and she couldn’t stand the fact that he was upset at her.

“I’m sorry.” She said and the man looked towards her in surprise but turned his attention back to the road.

“What are you sorry for?” He asked.

“For not minding my business and for making you upset.” She said quietly and the atmosphere in the car was still quiet. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” She said and turned toward him and gave him a smile.

The car returned to silent as they made the hour trip and the man stopped in front of a café. G-Yan had her hand on the handle of the door but made no move to leave. She turned toward him and she looked at his beautiful face. She could feel tears stinging her eyes but she tried her hardest not to let them fall. She didn’t want him to see her cry, she had to be strong, but she had a feeling this would be the last time she would see him no matter how much she wanted to be with him.

“I hope you know that I’m attached to you now, and if you hurt yourself I’m going to miss you terribly, and I’ll be sad, and I’m sure you don’t want to see me cry. I’m going to miss your company, and I want to thank you so much for saving me and caring me for the past couple of days.” She said and she leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek and her lips lingered there for a couple of seconds before she pulled back and left the car.

He sat there frozen as he saw the bright girl smiling and waving to him as he put the car in gear and started to move forward. He looked in his mirror and saw her still waving to him until he could no longer see her.

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Junsu pulled up to his small house and dragged his tired body into his house. He walked into his bedroom and noticed that the girl had cleaned it up and even put on new sheets and a blanket. He gave a small smile as he thought about her, but then as the time went by his smile faded.

He had seen a single tear in roll down her cheeks and he held back the urge to wipe it for her and hold her close and never let go. After he realized his feelings for her he had to leave. He felt bad or leaving her on the street and not taking her home, but he needed some distance from her.

He felt like a failure in life, and again the urge to end it all came coming back stronger than ever. He wanted to go back to the bridge he was at two days earlier, but then decided against it. He was saved once, and since he wanted to die, so he figured that wasn’t the place. He walked into the kitchen and pulled open the drawer and he picked up a knife. He grimaced as he placed the cold steel against his wrist and lightly rubbed it back and forth on the skin.

Junsu closed his eyes and was lightly adding more pressure to his wrist when suddenly he lost his grip and the knife fell to the ground. Junsu opened his eyes and stared at the knife on the tile floor and he felt a tear fall down his cheeks. Unconsciously he touched his cheek and he could still feel the tingling on his cheek where the girl kissed him earlier.

He didn’t want to feel attached to anybody any longer and now he had wished to have at least gotten the girl’s name. The girl that had saved him, and even though he didn’t know her, he now had some reason to live, and he didn’t like that feeling. He walked into his only bathroom and stood in the doorway stunned as there was a message written in lipstick on the mirror. He walked closer and a small smile had slipped and formed on his lips once again.

“Oppa, a smile better be on your face right now! Hehe… I hope you have a great day, and remember that even though we haven’t known each other long, I love you!”

Junsu brought his hand to the writing and touched the surface and could almost feel her presence there, and her little smile as she wrote it imagining him as he found it. He couldn’t bring himself to cleaning up the message, so he left it there.

Junsu took a quick shower and he went to go eat and there he saw another note on the fridge. “Oppa, I’m sure you’re getting sick of me by now, but I want you to know there is more to life than heartache and lost loves. I don’t know why you’re hurt and sad, but time will heal your wounds. I am here to help, so please smile. I love you!”

He chuckled and that’s when he realized that this was the first time in the past several months that he had even smiled, and he admitted to himself that he actually felt good. It was only the afternoon but he was getting sleepy and he decided to take a nap. He pulled back the covers and there he found another note. Now he was getting more and more curious to what the girl had written and he sat on the bed to read it out loud.

“Oppa, I really hope you don’t mind me calling you that :) anyway, I hope you’re not getting annoyed with these little letters, but I just figured you needed some sunshine since obviously you haven’t seen it in a while. I’m thinking about you right this minute! (yes I really mean it)… I want to see you again, but on your terms. I don’t want to seem pushy. Again, smile! You look so much better when you smile, and I’ll be smiling along with you. I love you!” Junsu couldn’t help but lay back with the note to his chest.

He felt his heart start to beat oddly and he wondered what was wrong. He realized that he was falling for this girl.

‘This is ridiculous. I can’t fall for this girl that I have barely known for two days, and who was unconscious most of the time. I still love RI IN. She’s the one still in my heart, not this girl.’ He said to himself hoping that it would make sense to him, but it didn’t. He never thought that he would fall for anyone again since the love of his life died just three months earlier.

He wanted to be reunited with her in the next life, but now he couldn’t even think about that because he was thinking about this girl. The girl who didn’t have a name but left a lasting impression on him. He sat up suddenly and wondered if she had left any more notes for him. He had gone through his entire house searching high and low for another note, but couldn’t find anything.

He was very disappointed at what he didn’t find. Maybe she didn’t really love him, but said that to cheer him up to get him to think about something other than ending his life.

Junsu was confused and feeling lonely. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly the girl was up to, but he didn’t want to feel like he was apart from her. He wanted to be next to her and talk to her. He was surprised himself since this was the first time that he actually wanted to interact with another person since RI IN had passed away.

He lay back on his bed now even more depressed feeling as if someone else of importance had left his life, and that he would never see her again. He was now upset with himself for not taking her home. He wanted her and now he had no way in contacting her.

Junsu took the next two weeks doing nothing but sulking around his small house blaming himself for letting someone else go that he had suddenly gotten attached to. He decided that he really wanted to see her, but had no idea on how to find her. He went to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He had moved around some things and he stopped breathing as he realized that there was another note there. He quickly picked it up and excitedly he read it, smiling for the first time since reading the last note two weeks earlier.

“Oppa, it’s me again. Getting tired of me yet? I’m not exactly sure in what order you’ll find these notes, but I’m kind of hoping this is the last note you see. If not I want you to put this letter down and go to these places and in order before you continue on. Do you understand? Ok good. Bathroom, kitchen, bed, closet… So did you read all those notes? Well since I don’t really believe you so I left you one last note. Go ahead and turn this one around and you will get your last clue.” Junsu hadn’t read the note in the closet and he wasn’t even sure where the note would be.

He decided to just let it go and he turned around the paper to see what else she had written. He figured he would find the note in the closet and read it later.

“So I guess you read all your notes? Well, I’m not exactly sure when you’ll see all of them, although I hope it will be soon. I miss you already as I’m writing these. I just know that if we’re truly meant to be we will see each other again soon. I will always and forever remember the day we met. I know that one day we’ll meet there again, and instead of you wanting to end your life it will be to confess to each other. Even though I’ve already confessed to you, I guess I’m just waiting for yours. I can’t wait forever. From the time that I leave, I give you two weeks. If at that time I don’t hear from you I’ll assume were aren’t meant to be. I hope to see you soon. I love you, G-Yan.” Junsu took in a sharp breath as his eyes read over the note several more times before it was truly sinking in. He read her name over and over until finally he said it out loud.

“G-Yan. G-Yan.” He repeated over and over and he liked the way it sounded.

Junsu decided that it was now time to figure out where the other note was. He went to the closet and stood there for several minutes trying to figure out where she left it.

He looked up and his eyes looked at the box that had been sitting on the top shelf of his closet for a long time. It was the box where he kept RI IN’s pictures and old letters. He used to look at them almost every day, but now it didn’t seem as important as it once had.

He took the box and as he sat on the floor and that’s when he noticed a note taped to the top. He actually smiled as he saw the now familiar handwriting. He took it off the box and read it.

“Oppa, now I understand why you’re sad. You lost a lover didn’t you? I’m really sorry for snooping around your room, but I wanted to get to know you, and there was nothing out. I found this box and all the pictures. She truly was a beautiful lady. I don’t know her, but I’m sure she’s really sad that you’re hurting yourself like this. She’d want you to be happy and live life to the fullest. Nobody knows when it’s their time to go, and it isn’t our choice when it’s time to go. So please keep that smile on your face and everything will turn out, you’ll see. I’m waiting for the time when we meet again and you’ll tell me I’m right. Haha. I’m always right, so you better remember that :) I’m going to be honest with you. I hope you don’t mind? I can’t stop thinking about you, and I hope one day when you’re able to let go of your love and be able to move on. So enough of my senseless rambling. I love you!”

Junsu released his breath that he didn’t realize that he’d been holding. He touched the top of the closed box and for the first time in months he didn’t feel the need to open it and relive his life that he had with his past love. He actually felt better than he had in a long time. He picked up the box and placed it back on the top shelf of his closet. He stood in the center of room and looked around trying to figure out what he was going to do.

His heart started beating loudly as he reread the letter from his dresser one last time. The words ‘I… remember the day we met… we’ll meet there again…” Junsu smiled as he ran and grabbed his keys and went to his car. He hit the steering wheel and cursed as there was so much traffic. He looked at the clock and noticed that it’s getting darker and he looked around. He had to get to the bridge as soon as possible. He didn’t want to miss the opportunity to see her again.

He was tapping his hands impatiently against the steering wheel and he was starting to breathe heavier as the time was quickly ticking by, he didn’t even want to think that he would never be able to see her again.

G-yan looked at her watch for what seemed like the hundredth time. She paced back and forth several times looking in both directions hoping that Junsu would show up. She sighed as it was getting darker and there was no sign of him. Her pacing while at first was impatient and fast was now slow and she was getting more and more heartbroken.

She felt like she was stupid as her heart sunk lower and lower in her chest. She had actually thought that maybe he would have felt something for her. She turned around and placed her hands on the railing and looked up at the sky. She couldn’t help but think of the irony of the bright clear skies. The day she was happy and ended up saving a man she loved the skies were dark and it was stormy. Now the day had come where she felt like her life was almost over and the skies were beautiful and clear. The sun was setting and she looked at the beautiful silhouettes running along the water.

G-yan almost felt as if the weather was mocking her, telling her that she would never get what she wanted. She looked down at the water and couldn’t help but smile at the beautifulness of it. It was so unlike the day when it was choppy and dangerous. Now it just looked calm and peaceful. She leaned her head on the cool metal and sighed. She couldn’t help let a few tears slip passed her closed eyes. She had been strong for the past two weeks waiting and waiting for him to show up, but now that it was the last day for her to come here she couldn’t help but show her emotions.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes as she heard footsteps and as her last attempt at hope she turned around and she frowned as she saw a man, who wasn’t Junsu, walking down the road. She decided to head down the road and go back to her house and sulk in her heartbreak and misery. Her tears started to fall down even more as she decided she would sit at the bus stop. She didn’t want to walk the distance to her house, so she decided to wait the two hours for the bus to come, hoping with the smallest bit of hope that she would see him come and look for her. She sat there and buried her head in her hands.

Junsu finally got to the bridge and searched all around him. He cursed as he was met with silence and darkness. He yelled as he realized that he was too late. Tears burned his eyes as he realized that he probably wouldn’t have another chance to meet her. All he knew was her name. He didn’t know where she lived, if and where she worked, or where she went to school. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks just fell on top of him, that he was losing another part of himself.

He screamed at the top of his lungs in frustration and he stopped suddenly when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. He turned around as he looked down and saw the girl that he had met in the exact same spot two weeks earlier, but under very different circumstances.

“You made it.” She whispered and giggled as he returned her hug and she buried her head in his chest. “I thought you weren’t going to make it.” She said and Junsu lifted her face towards his and wiped off her tears with his jacket. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips and she smiled as she jumped in his arms and he twirled her around.

“You were right.” He said and she laughed even more.

“Right about what?” She asked with a teasing smile and she could tell that Junsu was a little shy and unsure.

“Come on you know.” He said, he didn’t want to say it out loud, but G-Yan wanted him to.

“Know what? Come on oppa just tell me what I was right about.” She said as she lightly pushed him and he pulled her back into his arms for a hug.

“You were right that I needed to move on. Thank you for helping me realized what was really important and what really matters.” He said and she nodded. “I love you so much G-Yan.”

G-Yan beamed and she thought she was floating and in a dream. The fact that he said I love you and G-Yan in the same sentence made her feel like she was on top of the world.

“I love you too Junsu. I’m just glad you finally realized it.” She said as she lightly pushed him and he laughed. “I really thought you weren’t going to come.”

“I thought I was too late. I was stuck in traffic. I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I was so depressed that I didn’t have…” Junsu’s words were cut off as G-Yan stood on her toes and gave him a quick peck on his lips.

“Don’t think about that anymore. We are together.” She said and Junsu gave her a kiss on the cheek and hugged her tight.

Labels: by: Lyshim [sexy_green]